If you’ve been keeping up with my blog posts lately, you might have noticed a bit of a theme emerging. The last 9 or 10 months has been a process of back shifting, allowing a softer, gentler energy to slowly permeate and percolate its way across the breadth of my landscape. (You can read more here, and here, and here.)
I’ve been feeling a persistent call, like a quiet nudge at first which steadily built into an un-ignorable howl, to let go of striving, hustle, pushing. To do less. To be kinder to myself. In life, business, everything.
It’s been a slow creep of change. Seeping out of my heart, slowly tugged along by my soul, gradually spreading through my chest, being absorbed into every fibre of my being. But it’s also been violently confronting, confusing, painful and downright crap-your-pants scary at times.
There has been resistance. OH BABY, has there been resistance!
There has been a NASTY little bitch of a mean girl ranting away in my head.
There have been tears (probably even more than there otherwise would have been with sooooo many pregnancy hormones).
There have been stupid fights picked with my husband (who has taken the brunt of my resistance, fear and pregnancy hormones with some pretty impressive grace).
I’ve ‘shoulded’ all over myself (you ‘should’ be doing more, you ‘should’ have hit that goal by now, you ‘should’ be further ahead). I’ve tried to go against the flow, fallen back into old patterns, habits and ways of thinking and battered myself with crazy amounts of guilt.
But despite all that, that gentle, feminine energy has continued to resolutely work its way in.
And it’s only been in the last couple of months that I’ve felt like I’ve finally been able to really surrender. There are still bubbles of resistance, all the time, but what I overwhelmingly feel now is a quiet conviction to stick with what I know I need.
I still have to remind myself, on an almost daily basis, and sign that permission slip again and again, but it’s coming from a foundation of trust and love that just gently acknowledges the fear and doubt and meets it with kindness.
My approach to my business, the way I work and the work that I do has gone through a MASSIVE shift. There have been turning points, a good dose of ‘a-ha!’ moments and a bunch of heart-felt ‘fuck yeah’s’. One of these pivotal experiences, that grounded me in a sense of contentment, allowing me to let go of the internal struggle and surrender to my intuition, was nude yoga.
Yep, you heard me.
Not quite the place I expected to have an entrepreneurial breakthrough, but oh what a breakthrough it was!
Last month I attended a women’s nude yoga workshop with the amazing Rosie Rees.
I was prepared for it to be a vulnerable experience - I was there to challenge my limiting beliefs around my body and my femininity, explore my feminine energy, to connect with my body on a deeper level and connect with my growing baby daughter.
What I wasn’t prepared for, and hadn’t even considered, was the almost immediate impact it would have on my business.
Last year, when Rosie’s National Nude Yoga tour was in town for the first time I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in going. I was hustling my booty off building my business and in the middle of fertility treatments that left me feeling completely out of whack with my body; so getting my kit off and doing downward dog did NOT appeal.
But this year I felt really drawn to it. I guess my relationship with my body has transformed pretty significantly over the last few years and pregnancy especially has really opened me up to a whole different perspective and connection.
I thought it would be a really beautiful experience during pregnancy, and an empowering part of my journey towards motherhood, and it was.
Rosie holds such a beautiful, safe space for her participants, giving everyone the opportunity to come to a place of comfort and ease before de-robing in their own time. It was grounding, empowering, beautifully feminine, expansive, introspective and freeing.
During the workshop I felt exactly the way I had wanted to feel - open, connected, centred, abundantly feminine; and over the following few days, as everything continued to process and the blocks kept falling away the ripple effect started to make itself known in unexpected ways.
The workshop was all about embracing vulnerability and femininity, and it gave me a sense of clarity that helped remove some of the lingering baggage that was stopping me from completely letting go. It allowed me to be really open and raw and honest about what I want, what’s working for me and my business, and what isn’t.
Within days things that weren't aligned with my purpose suddenly dropped away - things I had been too fearful to release previously were suddenly released, and it felt sooooooo good.
Clients that didn’t light me up, but that I had been holding on to as a steady source of income were suddenly easy to let go of. Saying ‘no’ to things that I knew weren’t right for me became ok. New opportunities that do feel good spontaneously popped up. Placing stronger boundaries around my time, my energy, my finances, my commitments felt easeful and natural. Softness and self-care moved front and centre.
Empowered, conscious release.
And oh WOW does it feel goooooooood!
The thing is, surrendering is not the same as giving up. Letting go of what no longer serves you is a courageous thing to do, and it opens the door to the opportunities you DO want.
There is so much strength to be found in honouring what is right for you, and in saying ‘no’ to the things that aren’t.
Softness does NOT negate power.
So let me ask you; what are you holding on to that doesn’t feel right for you or your business anymore? What can you let go of today, right now? And what would that space allow you to embrace more of?
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