When I first had my little munchkin and I was in the process of attempting to find some sense of equilibrium in this slightly insane brave new world, the beautiful nurse we were seeing gave me some amazing, oh-so-sensible advice. And it was the kind of insight that is actually super relevant to so many parts of adulting, including this entrepreneurial journey, as well as the parenting one.
To tell you the truth I was pretty shocked by the incredible intensity of just how much I love this tiny human being (I knew it would be love, but I had NO idea it would be such a full-body, visceral kind of experience), as well as dealing with very little sleep and the anxiety that comes with suddenly being completely responsible for the survival of another person.
About this time last year I was getting ready to go on maternity leave - I wasn’t actually due until early September, but by the end of June I already felt like I was 600 hundred weeks pregnant, and still getting daily morning sickness, which lemme tell you, was NOT limited to the AM, so I was COUNTING THE DAYS until my mat’ leave in mid-August.
I started wrapping things up progressively, slowing down, allowing myself the time and space to lie on the bathroom floor for a few minutes after my afternoon bout of vomiting (sorry! TMI!).
Anyway, I’m not sure whether it was baby brain, or just my total pre-baby naivety, but I had some definite presumptions about how things were going to roll once my little bun was out of the oven.
I was going to give myself a very generous 3 months to find my feet...
Lately I've been getting a whole lotta comparisonitis - that nasty condition that likes to compare and contrast everything everyone else is doing with where you are.
Social media is the most amazing trigger for comparisonitis - you get to see the highest of the highs that everyone else is achieving, the beautifully filtered pics of big wins, lux' lifestyles, champagne and business class.
Aaaannd then you look around at the piles of laundry all over your kitchen table, the baby food splattered across the side of the bench that you hadn't noticed before (and god knows how long it’s been there), the huge list of things you really want to be working on but haven't been able to touch for days because you've got a day job/ a bubba/ business admin that needs attention/ a family to look after/ healt...
I luuurve me a good goal - but the operative word in that sentence is 'good', and by that what I really mean is a 'well set' goal.
It's so easy to set a wishy washy goal in your head, or maybe you even jot it down on a piece of paper, or in your diary, something like "write a book" or "get more clients". (Now, I'm going to start out with a little side note warning, if you're sensitive about language then this might not be the post for you, I'm going to say 'shit' quite a bit. Also if you're sensitive about being called out on your own bullshit then it's probably time to read something else.)
But I'm going to be honest with you here, those shitty, thoughtless goals are not only useless, they can actually be doing more harm than good in your life and in your business.
You know sometimes there seems to be waves of people experiencing the same thing in your life all at the one time?
In the last few weeks I’ve had family, friends and clients all experiencing the repercussions of pushing too hard, for too long, without acknowledging the flashing lights warning them of an approaching dead end.
When you’ve got piles on your plate, and you put your head down and charge on through it’s amazing how much you can get done. But there comes a point where the constant charge becomes unsustainable; and if you’re not paying attention when your body starts to let you know you can very easily fall head-first over the edge into burn out.
Back in my corporate life, without even realising it, I was drowning in the corporate cult of ‘busy’ – always working, always more to do...