One of the hardest things in my business (and life)
I don’t know about you, but I find it so easy to get caught up in the business of ‘doing’.
The solopreneur life can be a tad lonely, with more than a dash of isolation and it’s easy to get stuck in the ‘going it alone’ vacuum.
When I put my problem solving hat on, and I’m trying to sort out all the different bits and pieces that need to be done, AND juggle all the competing deadlines and timelines PLUS keep all the other day-to-day stuff in life and work ticking along… (and attempting to find time to breathe) sometimes it just doesn’t occur to me that I may not have to do every single teeny tiny thing on my own.
As a woman we’re almost pre-programmed to just assume that we should (gah! I hate that word) just roll our sleeves up, muck in and handle it all.
But you know what? Sometimes you can’t ‘handle’ everything. Sometimes you need a helping hand, or even just a friendly ear, but, for me at least, admitting that I need help is confronting.
Somewhere I seem to have picked up the notion that asking for help is an admission of failure. That it’s a flashing neon sign screaming to the world about a lack or inability, an insufficiency of some sort. It may have originated from a sense of natural competitiveness, or something to do with being the eldest child, but it was reinforced and strengthened its grip in my past corporate life and has had its claws in me ever since.
It stems from a limiting belief that took a long time for me to identify; and even longer to realise the full impact it was having across my life.
I learnt to buckle up, put my head down and push though – to do what it took to make sure that I ‘handled’ everything that was thrown my way.
And you know what? It’s a dangerous game and a slippery slope when you take everything on and never push back. You become the person who will get it done, no matter what else is going on, and so the work just keeps coming.
And when you’re your own boss, plus everything else within the business, it’s easy to feel like there’s no other option but to DIY.
When you’re up to your eyeballs and stressed out of your stilettos it becomes even more impossible to ask for help, because you feel so out of control already – by that point it’s hard to even conceive where anyone else would be able to step in.
BUT! Working for yourself is when asking for help if you’ve hit a block is SUPER with the caps lock on important!
But the biggest, most essential part of asking for help is asking the right person!!! (Three times exclamation points, you know that I mean business on this one :P)
This is where having a network of friends, peers and other entrepreneurs is absolutely essential.
Talking to my mum, my sister, a girlfriend is how I go about working through personal shizz; but when it comes to my business they aren’t going to be the best source of advice.
When you hit a roadblock and have no idea how to get around it, asking someone who’s been there before can help you to gain some perspective, clarity and path forward within minutes.
It’s time to let go of this insane notion that it’s better to drown quietly in the corner than to call for a life raft!
Swallow that lump in your throat, and tell that pesky voice in your head to pipe down if it even suggests that seeking help is a sign of failure. Asking for help from the right source is a powerful declaration that you’re ready to move forward, so let’s take the leap!
Do you have trouble asking for help as well? Or is there a particular person or resource that you turn to when you need to shift a block? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!